Love from, a young artist who refused to buy a 10p bag

Today I refused to buy an extra plastic bag at the shops. I walked home struggling to carry my rucksack, brimming tote bag and armful of Weetabix but, I persevered and made it home. 

The ordeal made me feel proud and pretty grateful. Regardless of the weather being pretty rancid, I reflected on life. I thought of how the uncomfortable journey could depict life as a young artist. How we take a step into a state of discomfort and darkness so regularly and yet keep going. We put one foot in front of the other each day, working on our craft, and soon enough start to get closer to whatever it is we are striving for. It may not feel like we are close, though, for a long time, just like my walk from the shop, in the rain, in the dark; it felt never ending, yet here I am sat at home writing this waffle on a blog.

This industry is a gamble. It can be unstable. People sometimes don't quite understand and that is okay. We work stupid hours in silly muggle jobs to pay ridiculous bills just so that one day, with a glimpse of hope, the craft that we nurture unconditionally will start to take care of us too.

Sometimes we endure trauma, and a lot of pain. It can be lonely and confusing. However, look at us. We are so damn cool. We have the capacity in our bodies and souls to work those ridiculous hours. We have the drive to push through mind bogglingly boring jobs just so we can finally make a living out of our passion. So young with such high expectations, living through national and international crisis after crisis; yet we still wake up, we paint, we dance, we sing, we act, we capture, we play. We make art. That is something really special. You should be really proud.

I am also grateful. 

I am grateful I have been blessed with the trust that it will work out. It really will. I am grateful I have the drive to be self-sufficient in this crazy world and still dance my silly little dances in ballet classes or rehearsals or R&Ds or shows. I am so blessed I have the mental, emotional and physical capacity to endure so much.

Don't get it twisted, this isn't a big up for the people of power in this industry or for those who have power to support the workers of this industry. This isn't a post to normalize or romanticize the exhaustion that can be faced by artists continually grafting for such little reward, particularly initially in their career. This is a post to remind those that are feeling the pressure that it is okay. That there is so much power in your work and so much beauty in your ideas. This is a post as a reminder to keep going, or take a little break if you need to and get back to it soon. Just don't take your foot off the gas. You are not alone.